Hello everyone,
I've been gone for quite some time - the last time I blogged I had just returned from a fabulous vacation to Kentucky in 2009 with my niece Monica!!!! Well lots have developed since then and I'm here to blog about it.
Since my last posting I became single again, after a 6 year relationship, and am faced with trying to meet men around my age who are single. I'm going to be 40 in November, never been married and would like to have a baby some day. So where does a single, white, 40 year old, female go to meet a nice single male these days? The problem I'm having is I'm a successful, career orientated woman, I own my house, a horse, and car but can't seem to find a nice a guy who can handle my independence! Men are competely intimidated by my ability to handle all aspects of my life without having one of them in it! Why is that? Haven't we progressed past this way of thinking? I've been on dates with all kinds - let me tell you! The ones I thought I would be compatible with totally confused me and the ones I thought wouldn't last have! For example I was dating a 33 year old very successful government worker. We hit it off at first sight (we met during a happy hour party). Everytime we went out I met him at the place - being the careful person that I am until on the 4th date I invited him to my house. I cooked a great dinner with lots of compliments from him - I even made fresh peach and strawberry shortcake for dessert. Anyway I didn't want to rush into sex (plus I had my monthly Mother Nature visit - which made it easier to with hold sex). We snuggled after dinner - watched a movie - made out - things seemed on track, right? WRONG!!! The next day there was NO COMMUNICATION at all! I called and texted him with no response at all. So I gave him the benefit of the doubt and thought he was busy with work. Several days went by and NOTHING! Finally I got a "Sorry I thought I was too boring for you" text. WHAT IS THAT!!!??? I asked what he was refering to and he implied he thought because I invited him to my house we would have sex and when we didn't he ceased and disisted communication with me. As an adult I was amazed at how juvenile this behavior was! He continued to tell me he was a difficult person to get to know, so in the end I told him I enjoyed his company and when he figured things out that he has my number. It's been a month with no communication. So I go from a successfull 33 year old to a 43 year old who was laid off from his job, took a low paying job until he could find something in his field again. Ok I give him credit for working through these tough economic times by taking any job that came around but doesn't pay nearly what he's used to. A hard worker who has fallen on tough times. Ok I can handle that - -right? He's funny, outgoing, easy to talk to, so who cares that he's in the job he is right now. Things are going great then all of a sudden I don't hear from him. WTF!! Here we go again!!! Turns out it was his High School reunion and he went on a 4 day drinking binge. REALLY!!! At 43!!! I like to go out and party every now and then but for 4 days in a row!! I may end up in the hospital if I tried that now!! I just didn't even know what to say or do with that. Would you? I'm completely confused with the whole dating thing since I was out of it for so long. That's such bull shit isn't it??!!!
What am I doing wrong? I would love to know. I was in a 6 year relationship with someone I THOUGHT was my soulmate. It turns out he wasted 6 years of my life because he was living a double life. He was married the entire time - now I'm not sure if his marriage had already disolved and they just didn't bother with getting a divorce or if they were really still playing husband and wife. Either way he lied to me and that's something that hurt me to the core. I didn't want that to stop me from finding a companion to share my life with. I don't know that I will ever want to get married but I would absolutely love to have a child of my own. I know I can just go and pick out a sperm donor and don't get me wrong I have been checking that option out. What I would really like is to find a nice man who doesn't mind having a woman who can make it in a man's world as their companion and who would like to have a child or two with me.
If you have any suggestions for me on ANY of this please blog me!
