So last night I went to a Festivas party put on by a coworker. The host asked everyone to bring their favorite party food - each would be judged and prizes would be given out. It's the 3rd year running and I've enjoyed attending each time. There is always excellent food and fabulous conversations full of laughter. I think it's because there is always a total mix of people there - coworkers, heterosexual and homosexual couples as well as single heterosexual and homosexual individuals. I'm always facinated by the dynamics of the crowd, so this time I decided to sit back and observe the interaction between everyone. Since I'm looking for a "soul mate" I wanted to see how the couples interacted with each other.
I was impressed. There was no division between any of them - they all mingled, chatted, and joked with each other. Normally heterosexual men are uncomfortable with homosexual men but last night there were no barriers. I was so proud to be with this group last night because that's not always the case. I've always found women to accept homosexuality better then men. For example, I used to work at AIDS Community Services of WNY doing fundraising and media relations. When it came to going to events, my boyfriend at the time always found a reason not to attend with me. I slowly realized he was homophobic! Which in this day and age is rediculous. At any case he missed out on some great events and meeting some great people. Later after we broke up most of my family confessed to me they thought HE WAS GAY! I was shocked! Maybe that's what drove his homophobic nature - who knows who cares that's over and done with. If he's gay that would be my luck though. lol
Getting back to the party, sorry I digressed, it was amazing to see how attentive and respectful both sets of couples were with their partners as they helped prepare the dips, desserts and delicious appetizers they brought for the big competition. That's what I want. Someone to be by my side no matter what. So I ventured into the crowd and began investigating what makes a good union between two people.
Some couples met through friends or family, others while shopping and a few met through dating websites. All that I spoke to said there was a certain "spark" the minute they met each other but like anything in life their relationships have all taken work by both parties. One man said they learned to love, respect and honor each other through time but knew early on it was worth the work. "You both need to be happy in your life before you can join the two together," said another man, "Once you are content with your own life, that will open you up to finding the same in a partner." Well that explains it. Lord knows over the past 6+ years my life has been in turmoil! I lost both my parents to cancer 3 weeks apart, then lost a total of 5 more close relatives to cancer just 9 months after that, lost my job a month after purchasing the house I grew up in, my brother and sister weren't speaking to either me or each other, and I was struggling fincancially after losing my $90,000 a year job and forced to take a job that paid only $25,000, so in order to keep what I had worked so hard to get I had to work two jobs (including being a cashier at Target) just to make ends meet. I clawed my way back upward and onward and now I finally realize I am content with where I work, live and play. There is no way I could have committed to making someone else happy during those years when I was struggling daily with death, family disfunction and just making ends meet. It's all coming full circle for me now and I'm embracing it with excitement.
The conversations I had with everyone last night made my eyes open wide and realize NOW is MY TIME. It will be just a matter of time before I find the man I'm supposed to share my life with. I believe things happen for a reason and last night's party was ment for me to become aware of what's to come. Watching and talking to everyone made me feel good and know better days are ahead. So if you are ever wondering where your knight in shining armor is? Look at yourself first, because if YOU are NOT HAPPY, YOU will NOT find HAPPINESS. So start getting happy! And that's not bull shit advice!
No comments:
Post a Comment