Keeping you on your toes!

So I've decided to take a break from dating and instead concentrate on me for a change. Why is it when a woman takes a step such as this men come crawling out of the woodwork! That's the case with me right now. I mean two guys I always had the "what if's" about have now circled back into my life. One moved away from Buffalo 8 years ago back to his hometown in Virginia to be closer to family. We recently reconnected through LinkedIn and have been emailing each other. He now lives and works in Canada. I asked why he moved away from VA after he worked to hard to get back there? He said every move he ever made was to further his career. He said that maybe the case when he leaves this job as well or it maybe more about personal opportunity or desire. He said he's single, no kids, and that life clicks by pretty quickly and he may have moved right past what should have been right for him personally because he was too concerned with getting ahead careerwise. WOW! Now I have always put my career first so I can completely relate to this.

The second guy is one I clicked with last summer. There was some serious chemistry there but we never dated, only became friends who would have lunch, dinner, etc. once in a while. Well he was out at one of our stomping grounds and he texted me that he was there. I told him I think I owed him a drink from the last time we were out. Anyway one thing lead to another and the next thing I know is he's calling me. We talked for hours and in the end I was right - there was chemistry between us. I told him the ball was in his court and that we would take this one day at a time. I also asked him to attend a black tie event with me. He said he would love to go but may have something going at work so he would have to let me know. Now he's in law enfocement so I completely understand if he's called into action on something. I told him to let me know. He did make a lunch date with me this week as well.

I guess only time will tell if either of these "what if's" become an "I know" situation. Everything that each man has told me over the past week has really been keeping me on my toes. Women have a habit of creating the perfect image of what their life would have been with these "what if" men. Fact of the matter is we won't know unless we try. So I'm going to give it a shot. Who knows what will happen.

Cutting My Losses

It has been a little while since I last posted and there is a good reason. Many things have happened. I bought a new car, broke up with "Toby" and spent 3 days 2 nights in my own hospital! Ok I'll start at the beginning. I wanted to get rid of my car because that's the last tie I had with my ex. He talked me into buying it and I really didn't want to drive that reminder around any more. So I traded it in and bought a Chevy Equinox which I love. I felt so liberated as I drove off that car lot with my new SUV! Then it went to shit! You all know I've been having a problem with "Toby" taking this relationship thing too fast. After repeated pleas of telling him to back off, respect boundaries, stop telling me he loves me, AND stop interrupting me when I'm trying to tell him how I feel, I finally decided to cut my losses and cut him loose. It really came to a head when I went into the hospital. I had a golf ball size ovarian cyst burst making me extremely sick. Ladies I had never vomited that much in my entire life! Anyway, Monica took me to the hospital and I told "Toby" not to come. He did anyway. Which aggravated me to no end. Then when the doctor came in to do an internal he wanted to stay!!!! WTF? There was NO WAY that was happening!!! I told him to get out. When I was admitted he came by the next day and stayed to visit way too long. I was on pain meds, IV's and just didn't want too many visitors. Hell I didn't even tell my family I was in the hospital until I had been there for 2 days! I finally kicked him out by shutting off the light and going to bed. He got the hint then! UGH Oh that's not it, it gets better. Once I was released, he happened to be off that day so he offered to come get me. My friend told him to take me straight home and leave me alone to shower as well as nap. Well that's not what happened. He dragged me to a restaurant, saying I needed to at least eat some soup - I told him no I want to just go home. He took me to the restaurant anyway and when it came to pay for my soup and his sandwich/soup combo meal - he walked away and I had to pay!!!!! Yet another WTF!!! I just didn't have it in me to fight after 3 days of pain meds, 8 bags of antibiotics and 6 bags of fluids. I just wanted to get home, shower and get into my own bed. After eating hardly any of my soup we finally left and he still didn't take me home! Oh he needed gas and a few things from the store!!!! I finally got so pissed I said take me the fuck home now!!! He got the message I was aggravates - but yet I don't think clear enough. When we got home I told him to GO HOME he hugged me said - this is what really got my bee hive buzzing, "I hope you feel better soon because I would really like to have sex with you." OMG That was it! I said, "Are you kidding me?! That's what's on your mind right now? After all I've been through the past 3 days you only have sex on your mind! Well that's not going to happen!" He goes, "Well get some sleep we'll talk later." I just slammed the door! How inappropriate of a statement was that!!!??? It unfortunately gets better, he said it again to me on Saturday AND on Sunday after I told him how that statement made me feel like he just wanted me for sex! It didn't matter. Then a few more unfavorable traits of his came out. A bunch of us went to a horse tack shop and for dinner after - he and his daughter went as well. When it came to the bill he leans over the table, wallet in hand and says "Babe how much money do you have on you, I only have $30." ARE YOU KIDDING ME!!! This guy who supposedly makes buco bucks and wanting me to pay yet again!!! (Let me tell you something his daughter is obese and eats way to much and he's a 6ft 4in husky guy - now my bill was seriously $15 max - for the two of them is was easy $50.) Anyway I told him I only had enough to cover myself. Screw that! Needless to say the next day I ended it and even that wasn't easy because he kept telling me that I was wrong for feeling the way I did!!! Oh and that's he's a great guy who can take care of me!! I told him he did a shitty job taking care of me and explained why! He still didn't get it. So, I sat and thought about everything and realized he totally did a 360 after I told him I would try the relationship thing with him. He went from a nice, courting man to a controlling, cheap pain in the ass! I personally think he liked the thought of being in a relationship rather than being in an actual relationship with me. He wanted a mother figure for his daughter and someone who could pay their own way and his. Well that person wasn't going to be me! With each relationship I've learned if it's not working you give the person only so many chances to make it right and if it doesn't happen you have to cut them loose. Normally I would have hung in there longer but not now - if it goes south and my feelings aren't taken into consideration - the guy is gone. Case closed. I called and talked to the match maker about it. She feels terrible and couldn't believe the 360 he did. Apparently she told him in the beginning to take it slow with me and not rush things, well he didn't listen to her or me for that fact! He hasn't contacted her and I don't think he will because I've heard through the grape vine he's waiting for me to come around to my senses. He's going to be waiting a really long time because I already have and he doesn't like it. I'm going to take a break from dating for a little bit but you never know who I may encounter in the mean time so stay tuned for more madness!!!