A Step In The Right Direction

After last night I truly believe happier times are definitely ahead for me. "Toby" has been battling the flu so I decided to take him some soup and Anderson's lemon ice. I also took his daughter some dinner because I knew she was just getting off work. "Toby" was so appreciative I thought of both him and his daughter. He was amazed and told me how the last woman he dated felt she was competing with his daughter. I couldn't believe it since the day before I had his daughter over for dinner and to watch Glee with Monica and me. We all had a great time and his daughter told me how she hasn't seen her father smile like this in a very long time. She also explained she really likes me and hopes it all works out between the two of us. I told her I adore her father and explained to her a few things on how I just need to take it slow. She completely understood. It was nice to spend time getting to know her as well and that made "Toby" so happy.

Well last night I made all of us dinner and after "Toby" and I watched the Sabres game. During the game we had a nice talk while snuggling on the couch. We talked a bit more about ourselves, painting a picture of our past experiences, and how we had both been burned. He completely understands my reasoning. He told me he knows I'm what he's been looking for and is willing to wait for me. That's when he put his hands around my face, stared into my eyes and said, "You're a fantastic person and as long as you are with me I will always, always, always want you to feel that way...because I will always treat you that way." Well that completely did me in - yes we had a serious make out session after that - our first to let you know! Which probably wasn't the smartest thing to do since he was just getting over the flu but hey I got the flu shot!

With my heart bounding I had to call it a night because I needed to do a quick review for the class I teach before turning in. As I drove home I found myself playing "pumping" tunes, smiling while replaying all of the evenings events. With each thought my heart began pounding more and increasingly became more happy! That's when it hit me - what the hell am I waiting for!!?? I got into this dating thing to get into a relationship right? AND here, one heck of a nice guy is staring me right in the face - ready for the taking - and I'm ready to run away. What the hell is wrong with me?! Am I afraid of getting hurt again? Yes - who isn't but I don't think he would do what all the others have in the past. Am I afraid of change? Yes - I got used to living alone, doing what I want when I want but when you think about it - yeah it sounds all nice and independent, but at the end of a really long day a dog isn't exactly what you want to snuggle up to. (Sorry Tucker I love ya but you snore - worse than a man! lol) Snuggling up to a man makes you feel so completely different especially because you can spew the venom from the day and get the hug you need to let it all go. That's something I haven't had in years, if really ever! It was something I could get used to and realized that's exactly what I want to get used to.

Who knew feelings for someone could just "hit you" but I guess that's what happens when you start to get to know a potential "boyfriend." Now I'm not saying that's what he is - we are working toward that though so I'll have to keep you posted on that. But I'm not opposed to him being my boyfriend which is a step in the right direction. I'm still being a bit reserved with my feelings, don't want to fall to fast or too far too soon but I really do think this is going in a good direction.